Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Dignity is for republicans.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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