could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
