2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
