We're facebook friends in real life
I'm really into asian looking animals
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
