hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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