I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
