What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
