Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
