you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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