He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
