We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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