Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
