I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
