I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
