My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
