Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he laminated a picture of his dick.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
