Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
