i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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