hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
