Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
