i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
should my penis look like a turkey
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
