Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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