I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
