worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
