Sry I called you an 8
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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