I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
