Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
