Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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