I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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