I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
