so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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