Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
