Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
