Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
