You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
