She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
