Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
