A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
