matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
