Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
