She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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