I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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