I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
