The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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