It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
