If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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