You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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