why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
