we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We're too hungover to prance.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
