and you said cock pushups were impossible
time to smoke my breakfast
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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